This is a new 789 part series of posts that explore all the people in society that are better than I am.

Part I

I was watching the NBA finals pregame show the other day, and they did a story about a young girl who has cancer. As most of these puff pieces are, they are designed to manipulate you and make the network look good. In this case, the girl wanted to meet Steph Curry, so ABC made that happen. But that is not the part that matters. This girl’s other wish was to have her brother accompany her because she was so concerned about the fact she has received all the attention (because, well, she has cancer) and he has been somewhat neglected.

WTF? This girl may be dying and she has the kindness to make sure her semi-ignored brother included in all of this? I’ll tell you one thing, the last person on my mind would be my perfectly healthy shithead of a brother (I don’t have a brother, but I assume he would be a shithead).

If I was possibly dying, I would be mad at everyone in the world. I would be yelling ‘why me’, running around kicking people in the shins, and demanding everyone to feel bad for because…well…they should! I’m fucking dying and you are not!

I would want to meet Steph Curry just to scream at him about how unfair life is: he gets to live a full life filled with adulations, fame, and money while I am dying.

I really don’t think I would handle the entire ‘you may be terminal’ thing very well. Hell, I don’t even handle these situations well:

• I get mad when I am on the bus and we get delayed by a handicapped guy getting on.

• When you are a door, you know that awkward distance where you don’t know if you should hold it for the next guy or just go it? Well I get pissed at that guy who forces me in that precarious situation. Why don’t you just time your walk differently?

• I still don’t know how to sort out my trash into recycle or compost, so I just throw it all in the recycle bin.

So girl from the NBA finals pregame show, you are a better person than I am. Just don’t let it get to your head.