As we approach the holiday season, I start hearing the same old rhetoric every single year around the time that closely precedes Thanksgiving: ‘Why are there so many Christmas commercials in November? What about Thanksgiving? I think Christmas season is starting sooner every single year. That’s not fair to Thanksgiving. I like Thanksgiving better.’.

‘I like Thanksgiving better’………really.

Well I call shenanigans on this!

First off, Christmas season is NOT starting sooner every single year. If that was the actual case, then Christmas season would be starting in June by now. So stop with that hyperbole. It is not insightful nor is it correct.

Secondly, Christmas is waaaay better than Thanksgiving. I know this is a matter of opinion, but that opinion sucks.

Let me elaborate…..

• For Christmas, you get presents. Presents are awesome; I love getting stuff and getting more stuff. I cannot have enough stuff. The key to happiness is the acquisition of stuff. For Thanksgiving, you get a tummy ache. There is nothing special about that; I get one of those every time I eat McNuggets.

• Thanksgiving is all about family and the gathering of said family. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a terrible way of spending a day off. Forced reunions with aunt and uncles, eating at a table that have people you aren’t even Facebook friends with, and enduring the little children of these casual acquaintances is not my idea of a good time. For Christmas, you unwrap you gifts and hide in your room, sounds like a far better time.

• If I am going to eat bird, I go with chicken. If I want to eat meat, I go with cow. I do not go with turkey. Ever. Sure, the gravy and potatoes are good, but turkey is a second class meat, plain and simple. And guess what? Because turkeys these days are so pumped with steroids, you will be dining on turkey and turkey-esque meals for the rest of the month.

• The Thanksgiving Day football is soooo over-rated and not that special. Did you know they play these games every Sunday?

• Christmas has colorful lights, artful decorations, and beautiful feel that is embraced by all. It is less about the religious aspects and more about the tradition. Thanksgiving is brown. Poo is brown.

• I bet the Native Americans have a very different take on Thanksgiving.

• I go back to the presents. That really cannot be emphasized enough.

Now I know Christmas is far from perfect. Christmas has the hyper-commercial aspect to it that can be irritating (and will be discussed in a later Spew). I also know Christmas is really for children; the memories I have of Christmas as a kid are magical, the memories I have of Christmas as an adult is that of a chore.

But to say Thanksgiving is so wonderful and to downplay Christmas either means your family is way more harmonious than the average or you are just trying to have some hot take that goes against the establishment.

What would Jesus think?