Well, we are finally into the most telling part of the NFL season. Yes, there are only 4 games left and there are a handful of teams jockeying for playoff position and (probably more importantly) hoping to peak at this time of the a season to make a deep Super Bowl run. Our beloved Hawks are looking fairly good after a 40-7 thrashing of last year’s NFC champs and are looking like their typical end-of-season selves (fingers crossed, it only takes one week to chance a team’s narrative), but obviously the loss of the PNW’s little ball of fire, the keystone to the Seattle Cover-3, the best of the best, Earl Thomas III, for the season may be crippling to their Championship hopes, but we will soon see.
Yes, yes, yes, all of those things are important. But this is also a critical time for something else……oh yeah…… it is time for Fantasy Football playoffs!
First off, as a reminder I want to stress how much I hate talking about Fantasy Football and how it forces fans to watch the game in a completely different light. If I have to hear these words ‘yeah, he is on my fantasy team’ or ‘damn, I wish they didn’t score, but at least he is on my team’, or ‘I am a fuckin’ idiot-man who thinks he knows a lot but doesn’t and I have a fantasy team I want to yell about right now in this crowded bar’ again…well….I’ll be sad. I do not care about anyone’s fantasy team, and I do not want to hear about it.
With that said, let’s talk about America’s darling team, your very own Phightin’ Phrodos of the ‘Real Amateur Hour’ league on NFL.com.
The regular season wrapped up this past week and yes, the Phrodo’s made the playoffs! It has been a terrific season for the mighty little warriors from Hobbiton, racking up win after win, scoring the 2nd most points in the league, and finished as the……………. 6th seed.
Yes, the 6th seed.
What the hell is that all about?
Well, let me explain.
The NFL hates me.
When I first joined the league, after our draft I was sent an email by the NFL grading my draft and predicting my future performance. I received a D for my draft and was predicted to finish 2-11; last place!! Already, I sensed some contempt for America’s team.
As the year progressed, it was clear the NFL had no answers for slowing down the shear power and bravery the Phrodos demonstrated on the field on a week-to-week basis. Scoring the second most points (barely losing out on that title by a mere 10 points), tallying up the most potential wins (98-45 over 2nd place of 91-52), third in coaching breakdown (metric of maximizing roster lineups), and finishing #1 overall in ‘True Ranking’ (as per the NFL.com statistics), how in the world am I the 6th seed?
Well, let me explain.
The NFL hates me.
My final record was 8-5, a virtual ripoff to say the least. Why so bad given so many positive metric scores? Bad luck. Anyway, there was a 4-way tie for 3rd place.
And I finished in 4th in the tie-breaks.
Why, I really do not know. Maybe some head-to-head nonsense. Maybe some random coin flip no one saw.
Or maybe the NFL hates me.
Whenever given the chance, they tried to take America’s team down; handing out bad draft grades to lower morale, creating some weird tie-breaker system where America’s team was demoted to 6th. But you can’t bring the Phrodos down like that.
Not like that.
We will fight through this. And it starts next week where I will be playing the 3rd seed ‘Greg’ (what kind of team name is that….Greg?). After this win, and the next, and the next thus cementing the title, we will see how those fat cats in their ivory tower will react.
But I really don’t want to hear about your stupid team, I bet they suck and I don’t care.