Alien Week: We Don't Need No Education

Hello and welcome to Alien Week at the Spew! In order to honor the opening of Independence Day 2, possibly the silliest, stupidest, guiltiest pleasure franchise in movie history, The Spew will have a week long dedication to all things alien.

When I was a teacher in Arizona, there was this thought that the education system in that state was about the worst in the nation. Granted, being the 49th ranked state (out of 50 if you didn’t know) in student expenditure, 48th in teacher salary (thank you Mississippi on both accounts), and being a leader in the crummy charter school movement does make you think Arizona is sort of poo-like on the educational front. However I can say with 53% certainty that Washington is not that much better.

So this leads me to believe the entire United States has a real issue with education; whether it is paying teachers so little, or having poor facilities, or just having stupid students, the US needs a change.

In order for Seattle and Washington to become more progressive and innovative in our curriculum, we need a fresh look. And I think a good start would be this:

An honest and frank dialog of possibly integrating the ‘Ancient Astronaut’ theory into the classroom. See this for an explanation.

Every time I hear about curriculum controversy on the news, it revolves around Creationism vs Evolutionism (ie: faith vs science or conjecture vs proof). Politicians arguing for God in the classroom, politicians battling for evolutionary theory in the textbooks, yet not one elected official has offered up the theories of aliens visiting Earth, building all the pyramids and miscellaneous other cool stuff, and leaving. Are we really to believe these elected officials are representing us as a people?

According the National Geographic, 77% of all Americans ‘believe there are signs that aliens have visited Earth’ while only 68% believe Jesus is the Son of God. This is true, check it out. We made a docudrama about the Ancient Astronaut theory; Prometheus (and I must say not only did that movie educate, it also kicked ass). We have no rational explanation on how the Egyptian Pyramids were built or how Pumapunku made such precise stone monuments; we know people can’t lift things that heavy! The only possible sane explanation is that aliens came here, lifted heavy things with their hoisting beams, and left. Yet despite all of this support for alien interaction, not once have I heard this being taught by any accredited school.

I mean just look outside:

You think we simple human beings could have made that? I mean it was built in 1962! Who had that kind of technology back then? And see that beam? Obviously contacting the mother ship. Even the top looks exactly like a flying saucer.

The fact we in Seattle haven’t even discussed integrating the ‘Ancient Astronaut’ theory into the schools is wrong. Sure the idea of evolution and scientific reason in the classroom WAS a good idea; there is proof and solid logic to all of that. But isn’t that all boring and sooooo last year? And I give you that the idea of Creationism is sexier than Evolution; the Bible has some pretty wicked awesome stories about violence and magic that reminds me of Game of Thrones. But I don’t see Noah’s Ark anywhere. I don’t see any Ten Commandment tablets. And where is that Holy Grail? But I will tell you what I see; pyramids, Easter Island faces, Stonehenge, and the Space Needle.

Try to explain those things with your ‘science’ or your ‘Bible’.