I cannot tell you how many times I get pulled over by someone who asks me ‘Look, I absolutely love your beer reviews. But they are mostly all American beers. What about the brews from our friends from the south?’.
OK, technically that has never happened. But in a theoretical sense, if you subscribe to the multiverse concept of string theory, this has happened an infinite amount of times.
Anyway, I think it is time to segue way into a different type of beer; to explore less esoteric beer that can only be found in Bohemian bars in the PNW and into more mainstream brews.
So with that in mind, I am going to review five beers from everyone’s favorite country that rhymes with Bexico…..
1. Dos Equis - Ambar
4.7% ABV 25 IBU
I am not a huge fan of Ambers, especially ones that are misspelled ‘Ambar’. But it isn’t that bad. Technically a lager (due to the fermentation process), this one surprises me a bit. It has a nice taste that does not overwhelm you and has a nice malty flavor (hence the amber tone) that leaves you not wanting to heave it up. Hey, if the world’s most interesting man can down this stuff, who am I to disagree? I definitely like this version way better than the green labeled ‘special’ lager, which is anything but special. It is not a heavyweight beer at all, but do we need every brew to be over 9%? If the answer is yes, you have greater issues so please stop reading this and check yourself in a detox center.
2. Corona - Extra Lager
4.5% ABV 19 IBU
In the realm of commercial lagers, this is my go-to. Remember, I am no fan of the lager; too much work in creating this thing with little pay off, but most American beers that are familiar to us are lagers. This is a light offering from our amigos en la sur, that does not offend and actually is somewhat refreshing. So when hanging out with friends after a tough slo-pitch softball game, this is a nice beer to have in hand. In other words, you can have way worse.
3. Tecate - Lager
4.5% ABV No IBU
Tecate, which loosely translates to ‘Mexican Piss’, is the cheapest of all the brews on this list. And for good reason. It sucks. It really does. This is Mexico’s answer to Natural Ice or Old Milwaukee. Whether in can form or bottle form, drinking this swill is akin to having a burro piss straight in your mouth. If that is what you are looking for in a beer, then by all means by a frickin’ case of this garbage. But if you are like me and tend to avoid animal urine, then go with another beverage.
4. Negra Modelo - Lager
5.4% ABV 16 IBU
I bet you notice a trend here; all of these ‘Mexican’ beers are lagers. Why? Well, the core audience for these beers are Americans, and for some reason the mainstream beer bought here are lagers. So goes Negra Modelo.
This brew is a Vienna-styled lager that has a Mexican name that is brewed in the US. So what the hell is this thing? Well, I’m not really sure, but I’ll call it Mexican because it was first brewed in Mexico. Anyway, this is a maltier fare than most lagers and resembles the Dos Equis. I actually like this one better, although I am not sure if I could tell the difference in a blind taste test. Regardless, it isn’t that bad for a mass produced beer. It has a weighty ABV and offers that nice malt-in-lager that makes me like this a bit more than a typical lager. I would never go out of my way to order this guy, but I’ll drink it with a non-frown.
5. Budweiser - Bud Light Lime
4.2% ABV No IBU
Wait!! How did Budweiser creep into this list? Well, the reason is this is the sad attempt of Budweiser to horn in on the Mexican beer market. And how are they doing this? Well obviously by squirting lime juice in a big vat of Bud Light and bottling it up with a green logo. This is just a stupid beer. I am not sure if it is bad or good or whatever (it has a refreshing element to it, but overall still tastes like piss water), it is just an idiotic concept. I think it is just thinly veiled attempt of Budweiser to occupy more shelf space at the grocery store. This is nothing to this concoction. Don’t get this beer. It just encourages the evil empire of Bud to come up with more misguided ideas. Why not throw a peach in the vat and call it ‘Peachy Keen Bud’? Hey, how about heave a grapefruit in there and call it ‘Tart-N-Sour Bud’? Oh, I got it. Let’s get a mule to piss in there and call it ‘Bud Tecate’.