10. Stop Animation Movies
I remember these timeless gems as a kid. Rudolph, Frosty, Jack Frost, Santa, etc., off on some adventure about saving Christmas or whatever (it is sort of remarkable how often Christmas is in peril, but anyways….). I like these little ditties. Granted, as an adult you watch them and even the nostalgic element is buried by the sloppy story, bad voice acting, and overall cheap feel to them. But still, they are fun.
Now I know most people don’t like cold weather. And granted I have never experienced real bad cold weather, I mean Tucson is an oasis during the winter and Seattle is damp and cold, but not a blizzard or anything. Still, the seasonal aspect of the weather, the change of the weather, the feel of the nip is nice. Also who doesn’t like snow-capped mountains? But I’ll be ready for it to be over come February.
8. Nostalgia of Being a Kid
Is there a better day for a kid than Christmas day? Getting toys, candy, socks, etc, all in one big day? Of course not!!! It is the best memories from being a kid for most people. As an adult, Christmas does not have the same magic. But you can see this excitement in other kids, and hearken back to the time you were kid. Unless you were a poor kid. Then Christmas probably sucked.
7. Andy Williams
When fuckin’ Andy Williams sings, you better fuckin’ listen!! Especially during Christmas time. Because Andy Williams OWNS Christmas. From ‘A Christmas Song’ to ‘Z Christmas Song’, Andy sings them all. In fact he cut over 80 Christmas albums in his career, and he is only 80!! If Christmas never existed, Andy Williams, nor Branson, would ever exist.
6. The Birth of Jesus Christ
HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah right…..let’s move on……….
5. A Christmas Story Marathon
Simply the greatest Christmas movie of all time, A Christmas Story captures everything Christmas is to me; suburban kid wanting a toy, begs for it, thinks he won’t get it, then does. And shoots your eye out. Anyway, it is a hilarious film that lasts the test of time, a very hard thing for a comedy to do. And to see it over and over again for 24 straight hours on two separate networks? Yeah, count me in!
4. Time Off From Work
Work sucks. School sucks. Sorry, it just does. So any time you don’t have to attend work or school is a win in my book. If the holidays don’t bring you any cheer whatsoever, at least you can be joyless at home alone and not deal with all the other happy folks. That is unless you have a retail job, then yeah……sorry. :/
3. Close to My Birthday
Some think that having your birthday near Christmas is a bad thing; you lose out on a non-winter gift day. But no sirree!! First off, everyone remembers your birthday because it is close to Christmas, so you don’t have to beg them to give you gifts on that day. Also you don’t get a 2-for-1 gift thing, you get a 2-for-2 gift thing!! And sometimes if lucky, you can get a mega-gift that uses both your birthday and Christmas collateral! Doesn’t sound so bad, huh?
2. Getting Gifts
Yes, giving gifts is better than receiving gifts, but only if your gifts are crappy ones. I love getting gifts! Especially good ones! It is just a lie when people say they rather give than receive gifts. If so, keep buying me gifts the entire year!! Don’t just wait for one day, pat yourself on the back and declare it was better to give. Experience this state of self-anointed euphoria on a daily basis!
1. Christmas Cheer
This is the best time of the year. Not just because of the nostalgic TV programming, not just because of the winter weather that has a bit of a bite, not just because of Andy fuckin’ Williams crooning away, and even not just because of the gifts. It is all of these things and more. The tradition, the decorations, the trees, the look, the aura, the overall decor of the city, the holiday feel of it all, it truly is a wonderful time than not even my jaded self can resist.
So merry Christmas to all of you, and I will see you guys next year!!!!!!!