10. Giraffe
Giraffes are so unusual, with that neck and all, to have one as a pet would be really cool. I could ride it to work, easily grab things off of high shelves, and pretty much dominate my Amateur Polo League I play on Saturday with this guy trampling all those horses. But I am not sure where I would put him…..
9. Anteater
These things are just plain weird. If I had one, I would absolutely fascinated with him, probably watvhing him all the time in a hypnotized state just wondering what the hell is going on with this guy. I don’t think one would serve any true function, unless I spill sugar on the floor, but they are just so strange, I would like one hanging around the house.
8. Pegacorn
Hmmmm, which one to choose: the unicorn or the pegasus? Well, what the hell! Just combine them into one sweet-ass animal. If I had one of these bad boys,not only could I fly to work and slay Medusa along the way, but I would be the envy of every 8 year old girl in the world. The issue is I am not sure if I could feed him. I mean there is only a limited supply of rainbows and gumdrops I can find.
7. Tiger
I know I know, everyone would love to own a tiger. I mean they are beautiful, rare, fierce, and oh so cute. But have you seen Life of Pi?I am not sure if I could last with a Richard Parker hanging around all the time. Remember what happened to Sigmund and Roy? Well, they sort of suck, so that was a good thing. Even though owning a tiger would be the talk of the town, the real question is do you own the tiger or does the tiger own you?
6. Penguin
I love penguins. They are dressed so formally at all times. They are so cute when they walk. They have a strong loyalty to their family. Just watch March of Penguins. See how awesome they are? I mean who wouldn’t love to waddle around town with a penguin and your wing man? I would rank them higher if it wasn;t for Mr. Popper’s Penguins. Such garbage.
5. Ewok
Don’t get me wrong, the Ewoks are lame and I know this. Yeah, I liked them as a kid but the older I get, the cuter they ain’t. But it would be handy to have one hanging around. Did you see what they did to the Imperial Army? With just sticks and rocks? They are the virtual MacGyver of the teddy bear world.
4. Seahawk Mascot that Landed on a Fan
Granted, I would not want to own any seagull, ern, tern, or whatever a real seahawk is. I want to own that one. Yes, that one in the picture. I mean just look at it! That is so awesome. Before every game, the Seahawks release a bird to swoop around and hype up the team I guess. But when this guy went rogue…..well that is pretty much the greatest moment in the franchise’s history. Yes, they have won a Super Bowl in majestic fashion. But so have many other teams. How many organizations can boast having a mascot that viciously attacks fans?
3. Tyrannosaurs Rex
First of all, everyone would love to own a dinosaur. Secondly, this is the king of all dinosaurs, I mean the guy’s name is REX, so who wouldn’t want to own the coup-de-gras of all dinosaurs? Sure, it may be dangerous to have one. But for something like this, I would be willing to hire teams of people to manage such a creature. And if anyone crosses me, they get the Rex! Yes yes yes….I can see this working out…..working out quite well. HAHAHAHA!
2. Platypus
And you thought an anteater was weird? Holy shit! The platypus just freaks me out. I am not even sure I want one. But yet I sort of do. I mean they are sooooooooooo weird. Just look at it!! Look!!!! I think I would have to quit my job if I owned one. ALl I would do is obsess about the fact that this creature actually exists. I mean I know they do, but to have one at the house and see it in action, well that simply adds another dimension to the whole thing. Again, I am not sure I actually want one of these adsurdities at my homestead. But you know, I sort of do…..
1. Arwen the Dog
Yeah, what else would be #1?