I Declare This the Summer of Crap

Wow has this been a terrible summer for movies or what?

Here is a list of the crapulence that was trotted out these past 4 months:

Sequel Poo

  • Independence Day II

  • Jason Bourne

  • TMNT

  • Now You See Me 2

  • Neighbors 2

  • The Conjuring 2

  • Alice Through the Looking Glass

Superhero Poo

  • Suicide Squad

  • X-Men: Apocalypse

  • Batman vs Superman

Remake Poo

  • Ghostbusters

  • Legend of Tarzan

  • Ben-Hur

  • Pete’s Dragon

  • The Jungle Book

Original Poo

  • The BFG (sort of)

  • Warcraft

  • The Nice Guys

  • Popstar

  • Central Intelligence

  • Angry Birds

STOP!!!!! What a god-awful lineup. Other than Finding Dory, Star Trek, and Captain America Civil War, this is just a line-up of poo.

This may be the worse summer movie season, and it wasn’t even poisoned by the inept hands of Michael Bay.

This winter better be much more superior than this crop of poo or else I have have to start reading books instead.

So please Hollywood, paleeeaaase, save me from reading and conjure up some good ideas. Stop with the remakes that either force women in the male roles or just slaps on some CGI on a derivative idea, stop with the superhero films because it is getting even too nerdy for me, stop with sequels to movies that no one cares about, stop with converting video games into films, and stop casting Kevin Hart in anything.

Don’t make me hate you, Hollywood. I am not ready for that in my life.