Welcome to Gymtime Stories: Part IV of a CCXIII part series.

Part IV: Who Wears Short Shorts

I saw a ball the other day.

A man’s ball.

Just one, but I saw it.

And this didn’t happen in the locker room. This happened during my workout; it was peaking out of the man’s running shorts as he was kicking his leg up doing some nonsense exercise.

As stated before on this site, seeing unnecessary nakedness in the gym is not fun, but it is part of the culture. Sometimes you have to just grit and bear it.

But on the gym floor is a different ordeal. Seeing this where I saw it is sort of like seeing a rhinoceros outside the zoo; everything in its proper place breeds a safe and secure feeling, but outside its natural habitat the feeling changes to fear and panic. All rules and expectations do not apply; you are through the looking glass and there is no way out.

So how did this happen? How did I bear witness to this grotesque orb of horror. One word doubled: short shorts.

C’mon guys, stop wearing those things. Not only are they not flaterring, there is some level of social normalcy that needs to take place in order for everyone to function properly. Would you like it if I came jaunting in with a unitard, wading boots, and a luchador mask? God I hope not. And I hope brandishing your junk in public areas is not a ‘thing’ now.

So let’s stop with the short shorts. It is doing no one favors. Male legs are not the most visually appealing aspect of the human body, so let us all do our part and start wearing pants, knickers, or long-legged shorts that go down passed the kneecaps. I don’t think that is too much to ask.