Mother Nature vs Us

I have long maintained that Mother Nature is our original enemy and we need to fight her until she is gone. If you needed some proof, just look at all the death and destruction that happened this week due to her cruel intentions.

  • Hurricane Harvey

  • Hurricane Irma

  • Hurricane Jose joining Irma to make a ‘super-cane’

  • Earthquake in Mexico

And just you wait. Another Hurricane, the next with a K name and will be a woman’s name as per the pattern (Katrina part II?) will come soon and start kicking the ass of all in her way.

And if you needed more evidence than this past week, well hold on to your butts because this new piece of news will…..maybe make you lose your butts I guess.

Rabid bats.

Yes. Rabid bats are here in Seattle.

On the news yesterday was a report that over 15 bats have been identified as ‘rabid’. And you know what that means? If they bite you, you become a zombie. And being a zombie sucks.

And you know how this works. 15 bats will soon turn to 16 bats, which will soon turn to 17, 18, 19, then before you know it, 1,000,000,000 fuckin’ rabid bats, swirling around Seattle, biting everyone, taking over the city, driving out Amazon/Microsoft/Boeing etc, making the Seahawks re-locate, and filling the streets with their poo. It is just a matter of time.

Mother Nature is a bitch and she needs to be slapped. I mean if it isn’t the constant earthquake warnings, the tsunami scare, or the ever-present danger of a Mt. Rainier explosion, now we have these goddamn bats to worry about. What else do you have Mother Nature? Maybe a fleet of ligers will leap on me as the earth tears asunder and magma is shooting out as me while rabid bats are nipping at my toes. Or maybe after I dive into the water for safety, a school of box jelly fish will start stinging me as piranhas begin to eat my zombie brain. Oh yeah, I am a zombie also because of those damn bats.

Maybe by slowly destroying the Earth with some global warming will help or maybe we need to colonize another planet ASAP. Regardless, Mother Nature is the worst. I know where I am not wanted.