Crap-tozoology

I used to love the idea of the Loch Ness Monster as a kid. I mean to have a dinosaur-like creature still existing in the murky depths of Great Britain is a really cool thought. The mystery, the intrigue, the controversy. Could it be true?

Well, as a kid I wanted to believe. The problem is that….well…kids are stupid and I was no different. Of course there is no Loch Ness Monster.

As an adult, you learn more about the way the world works. In order to have a such a species living throughout millions of years, there needs to be reproduction. Yet there is only one or two of these things floating around? Yeah, life doesn’t quite work like that. This is not to mention that such a large creature in a relatively small body of water would need to eat tons of food that is probably not available. Also a big critter like Nessie would be spotted way more often, especially with all the attention this area has gotten over the years.

Yet there are still people who believe this thing is kicking around the loch. Even this past year there is ‘proof’ that Nessie is real:

There it is!!! Proof!!! A sonar picture taken in April 2016 that shows it is real.

Well, it turns out it was a movie prop from ‘The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes’ from 1969.

The fact this made headlines stills reinforces my belief that many people are very stupid, don’t think things out, and believe whatever they want to (ie: blue collar folk votin’ fer Trump).

The same goes for Bigfoot. Guess what Oregon? There is no such thing. For similar reasons as above. Harry and the Hendersons was NOT a documentary. The show Finding Bigfoot is about as stupid as Ancient Aliens, and not even as entertaining.

So my message to the hoi polloi is stop wishing and hoping that creatures exist that do not. Don’t pay attention to silly ideas and ‘proof’ like fuzzy pictures of guys in ape suits prancing around the forest. Appreciate the true environment around us and learn about the likes the chupacabra, the Yeti, and the underground societies of the lizard people. Bigfoot and Nessie? Wastes of time.