Hi, my name is Phil. You may remember me from such websites as the one you are looking at right now

I think to fully understand this site, one must understand the man behind the site. And that man is me. So without further ado, here is a sneak peek into the history, life, and background of….well….me.

I was born on the shortest day of the year in Tucson, Arizona. My area, or ‘barrio’ as I like to say, was Camino Los Brazos (which loosely translates to ‘street of armed and scary men’). If one knows the nature of this area, one would know how culturally divided and tension-filled my ‘barrio’ was. Mormons to the left of me, Jews to the right, it was a virtual Gaza Strip in the Old Pueblo. The only detente achieved at Fruchthendler Elementary was during any of the Jewish holidays, where half the school would not attend class. The probability was low for this poor little white boy, coming from upper-middle class academic-minded agnostics, to make it out of this situation.

But I did. After 13 years of scholastic rigor, I was the first person in my family to finish high school (in Arizona). After deciding to take a year off to explore my sexually and travel the world (ie: practicing abstinence and going to Texas), I came back to Tucson and attended the University of Arizona. And when I say ‘attending’ I mean ‘attending’ I attended every class, every sporting event, and every major. A wise man once said ‘All those who wander are not lost, but some are lost. Some are very lost. Some fuckers have no clue what they are doing and just get in the way of others that do know.’ I think it was Nietzsche. Anyway, I was lost. Downside: wasted time and money. Upside: have 150 credits in a olio of subjects such as Women’s Studies and Philosophy.

After 6 years of ‘attending’, I had to get out of that place. So what to do? Well, another wise man said ‘those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach high school math’. I think that was Gandalf. So again, what did I do? I taught math. In high school.

Ah, high school. I did so well the first time around; all the girls liked me, straight A’s, captain of the football team. Well, to be fair not really all the girls, just none of them. And by A’s I mean some A’s, some B’s, C’s, etc. But I was captain of the football team; the proud fantasy football squad of the Phightin’ Phrodos. Of course I belonged back in high school!

One thing I learned in my 9 years of teaching is never underestimate the apathy of a student. I guess I should have learned that when I was a student, but I’m a slow learner (reference the 6 years of college). Despite that fact it was fun tormenting students with arcane and archaic mathematics curriculum, I had to move on with my life. Also it didn’t pay well.

What to do now? I have an idea; go back to school. So much like the Rodney Dangerfield classic, I went back to the U of A as an old man, limped through graduate classes, and signed up for the diving team. After an unnecessarily long time in grad school (again, slow learner), I got a piece of paper that said I was allowed to do something else.

That something else allowed me to move to Seattle. That is where I am now. I like it here. :)